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Balletmadxxx

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Balletmadxxx

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  • Number of visits : 1068
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Balletmadxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (3967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

#19614809
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (2279)

On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13141) - you deserved it (41309)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (5277)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML

#19350596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27672) - you deserved it (4897)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:54am - kids - by ohhdear.___. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (3687)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14395) - you deserved it (25208)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27788) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

#18922050
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:35am - work - by Wendizzle (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

#18894486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22126) - you deserved it (2252)

On 01/23/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Suzie Leone (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (3159)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12053) - you deserved it (32043)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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