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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (15275)
On 03/08/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by serverdessert - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (205321)
On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14879) - you deserved it (49618)
On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61845) - you deserved it (15469)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (18565)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62207) - you deserved it (3410)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (4496)
On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7074) - you deserved it (33768)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (1684)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7452) - you deserved it (28256)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22741) - you deserved it (5587)
On 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by notpreggers (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (50170)
On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (37097)
On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4485) - you deserved it (32946)
On 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by j0natron (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (1940)
On 02/02/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by Rachel (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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