About BadKitty13 : IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE ......
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr...
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (3035) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (7464)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (2893)
On 01/12/2011 at 8:28am - misc - by will3000 -
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58206) - you deserved it (2757)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17852) - you deserved it (9870)
On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (8036)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14231) - you deserved it (29251)
On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10357) - you deserved it (16293)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18607) - you deserved it (3286)
On 12/05/2010 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3127)
On 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (6019)
On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (3826)
On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (4350)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17015) - you deserved it (6612)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (1523)
On 09/11/2010 at 1:31am - health - by fuzzy1895 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 17 June 2013
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