Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BadKitty13

Online | Search for a member

BadKitty13

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2789
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BadKitty13 : IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE ......
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr...

BadKitty13's page activity

Visits<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:24am<b>WoodKiller</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:13am<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:30pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:10am<b>ruler805</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:21pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:58am<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:16pm<b>Arnoud</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:13pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:21pm<b>xzanex</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 4:28pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:28am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 8:03pm<b>gamermonster</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 10:35am<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 12:56am<b>hereforfmls</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:41pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:02am<b>igotds</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:19am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:42am

Fucked!<b>UberMom</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:24pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:10am<b>gamermonster</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:35pm<b>kyle_s_97</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:02pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 5:33am

BadKitty13's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of BadKitty13's badges

BadKitty13's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46943) - you deserved it (7318)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53631) - you deserved it (8442)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58039) - you deserved it (14492)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213
788 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71138) - you deserved it (15238)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (74234)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47670) - you deserved it (9146)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (50486)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

#15312414
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (10878)

On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36760) - you deserved it (8094)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44698) - you deserved it (4738)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (6937)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

#15207309
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (3622)

On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

#15205063
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41423) - you deserved it (2958)

On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (33472)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (88377)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: