About BadKitty13 : IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE ......
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr...
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35530) - you deserved it (15872)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12583) - you deserved it (36132)
On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9357) - you deserved it (38001)
On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, after spending 8 months and $11,000 on school, I was denied a job in my chosen career field. They told me they decided to go with someone with more experience. So who got the job? One of my classmates. This is her first job. EVER. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2437)
On 05/05/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by alphafoxy21 - United States (Alaska)
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (2999)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (41813)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (7552)
On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (32149)
On 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm - intimacy - by purrykitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36052) - you deserved it (5439)
On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42877) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45857) - you deserved it (10355)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57602) - you deserved it (10128)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11100) - you deserved it (53546)
On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36750) - you deserved it (6961)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12619) - you deserved it (36117)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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