About BadKitty13 : IT'S 5:00 SOMEWHERE ......
Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr...
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20358) - you deserved it (2413)
On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14311) - you deserved it (41034) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16162) - you deserved it (32436)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (11458)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20676) - you deserved it (5221)
On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40114) - you deserved it (3368)
On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (9387)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25033) - you deserved it (4944)
On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (4788)
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (18312)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10586) - you deserved it (34327)
On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -
Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (1834)
On 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Eric -
Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (5464)
On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
