Bad1z

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Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 1:43pm)

Bad1z

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2012
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Bad1z's page activity

Visits<b>bbenedict</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 12:19pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 9:10pm<b>sh07</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:04pm<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:44pm<b>sharpie2434</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:15am<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:37pm<b>lewis_de_man</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:52am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:05am<b>mLove395</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 8:41am<b>MirandaShaee</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 11:45pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm<b>Crystal55621</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 6:24pm<b>Saone</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:00am<b>Chiara92</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 8:58am<b>KhrystallDaBest</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 5:06pm<b>DividableByZero</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 12:28am<b>isminit</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 11:36am

Bad1z's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bad1z's badges

Bad1z's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

by Andrew7847 / 04/22/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

by joolsie / 04/13/2012 at 9:11am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

by DMStarsky / 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Texas) / Health