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Bad1z

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Bad1z
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 354
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Bad1z's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (2380)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (2874)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

#19633356
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (19360)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

#19632060
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18246) - you deserved it (3683)

On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13913) - you deserved it (25275)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (34329)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (3610)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML

#19509348
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15851) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (39857) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7334) - you deserved it (17595)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

#19368346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (15298)

On 03/29/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by greeneyedpothead - United States (California)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115) - you deserved it (2723)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28430) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

#18725237
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you deserved it (6547)

On 01/06/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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