[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

BaconDave

Search for a member

BaconDave
  • Town/Country : Kidnapped, Help Me
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 July 1987 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 254
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About BaconDave : My name is Dave. I live in North Corbin, currently managing the KFC there. Please message me if you have questions or anything. Seriously. It would probably make my day if you messaged me.

BaconDave's last visitors

lmc94agostina_mcRyanMacVeyKiddNYC1Owinterforever97GaryyZebrasofa13RiileyTHE_A_TEENlastcakelefterpaderp

BaconDave's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of BaconDave's badges

BaconDave's favorite FMLs

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (7223) - you deserved it (718)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (19167) - you deserved it (1267)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (8941) - you deserved it (20339)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (19349) - you deserved it (7457)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355 (285)

I agree, your life sucks (7395) - you deserved it (49007)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352 (417)

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (21771)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (33727) - you deserved it (3970) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (26038) - you deserved it (5202)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by gntfmlingnow - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (4372)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (21005) - you deserved it (61036)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (39538) - you deserved it (10018)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (12082) - you deserved it (20730)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (3372)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML

#16886506 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (5015)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (4720)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



Your account

↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: