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B_Foxy

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B_Foxy
  • Town/Country : Wisconsin, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3819
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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B_Foxy's favorite FMLs

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53096) - you deserved it (20752)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14122) - you deserved it (97542)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

#2960234
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34668) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113712) - you deserved it (71758)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

#2454603
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8742) - you deserved it (49690)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48717) - you deserved it (2782)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34482) - you deserved it (113993)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72242) - you deserved it (21999)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

#1429978
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59514) - you deserved it (4968)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98761) - you deserved it (7527)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (56696)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (80254)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329221) - you deserved it (35707)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384860) - you deserved it (61669)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29466) - you deserved it (79746)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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