About AznSamoan52 : Currently trying to stay alive.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5526) - you deserved it (18533)
On 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15030) - you deserved it (1374)
On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17978) - you deserved it (5168)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19373) - you deserved it (3990)
On 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by PixiXOXO (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4080) - you deserved it (33629)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19192) - you deserved it (1509)
Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (2362)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (875)
On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (1746)
On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (2350)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (3494)
On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (3192)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (1371)
On 07/14/2012 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3497) - you deserved it (34085)
On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)
Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13554) - you deserved it (3154)
On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
