Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2024
  • Number of comments : 671
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Awsumuzzie : I come from Saudi. I'm not American. I have short blond hair, that do compliment my blueish-greenish eyes. I'm scary. And most importantly, I most certainly am not sarcastic.

Awsumuzzie's page activity

Visits<b>sofaqueen_</b> - yesterday at 10:34pm<b>TyberXan</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:49am<b>_lorianne_</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:38pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:33am<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:46am<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 2:29pm<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:06pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:47pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:04am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:56pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 9:49am<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:13pm<b>xI3eN</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 3:01pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 4:24am<b>spiers1</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 10:46pm<b>umakemesic</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:50pm<b>hope27</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:50pm

Awsumuzzie's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Awsumuzzie's badges

Awsumuzzie's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (1891)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (10111)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by Nasty (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (3338)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (2773)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (2681)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:29pm - misc - by imnotacat (woman) - United States (Washington)

FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: