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Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18475) - you deserved it (10377)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (2857)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14789) - you deserved it (57478)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12011) - you deserved it (40734)
On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6045) - you deserved it (50740)
On 08/23/2010 at 12:18am - kids - by K_M (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (1321)
On 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (2897)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (24861)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (58278)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35610) - you deserved it (20885)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74720) - you deserved it (21210)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51630) - you deserved it (1983)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Friday 24 May 2013
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