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Awahso's FML badges
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Awahso's favorite FMLs
by seriously? / 05/27/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Awahso / 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
by FMyEx / 12/06/2012 at 6:50am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML
by K_M / 08/23/2010 at 12:18am / Malaysia (Selangor) / Kids
Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
by Paramedic / 11/17/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Rochdale) / Work
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
by indi1011 / 04/20/2009 at 8:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by deez_nutz / 03/10/2009 at 8:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, I got braces. When I showed my mom, she said, "At least you'll lose weight because you can't… Today, I had a sex dream. I woke up, sleepily got myself off and fell right asleep. it wasn't until… Today, I made fun of my girlfriend's hair by saying she was my little peacock. She instantly shot…