About AutumnSeasons : Occasional noteworthy life.
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AutumnSeasons's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by squirts / 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm / Miscellaneous
by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 4:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 8:34am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Love
Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by RidingCJ / 11/05/2013 at 1:04pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML
by twitterfailsme / 11/04/2013 at 7:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Work
Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML
by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (California) / Health
by snowwhite / 10/28/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I found out that a very close friend of mine masturbates to photos of me on my Instagram and… Today, I found out im allergic to the medicine I use for nausea the side effect is throwing up, FML Today, my mom was holding a glass of water and asked if I thought she was going to throw it at me.…