About AusBoy : Fmls brighten up my day
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AusBoy's favorite FMLs
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by DontGetSlapped / 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation
by left-out / 02/17/2013 at 2:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Doggotmytongue / 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
by papersofdivorce / 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm / Peru (Lima) / Love
by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health
Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML
by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried… 3Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After…
- Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I… Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to… Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to…