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AusBoy

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AusBoy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 959
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AusBoy : Fmls brighten up my day

AusBoy's page activity

Visits<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 3:16am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 8:26pm<b>efelsh</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 11:21am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 4:05am<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 11:01pm

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AusBoy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (15307)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (5528)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41009) - you deserved it (5319)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (4460)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (5892)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33943) - you deserved it (2614)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46621) - you deserved it (3107)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49148) - you deserved it (11534)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29504) - you deserved it (23345)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (5361)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49265) - you deserved it (6572)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (2415)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (5765)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (15685)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49448) - you deserved it (24467)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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