Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AugustBurnsToast

Search for a member

AugustBurnsToast

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2724
  • Number of comments : 271
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AugustBurnsToast : Why hello there :o I love playing, writing, and producing music. As you can see, guitar is my main instrument. I enjoy many genres of music but I'm most passionate about hardcore. x)

My instagram is scottchessin if you feel like following or just wanna check me out ;p

AugustBurnsToast's page activity

Visits<b>Wondermage</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:35am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:01am<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 6:55pm<b>zheawesome</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:07am<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:31pm<b>orbit</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 7:03pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:46pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:36pm<b>han5301</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:00am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:17pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:24am<b>ddrake8713</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:48pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 6:53pm<b>icantstoploop</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 8:17am<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:49pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:50am<b>zombieninja101</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 4:01pm

AugustBurnsToast's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of AugustBurnsToast's badges

AugustBurnsToast's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction . He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away . FML

#20518187
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Yesterday , I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market an buy a copy of 50 Shade of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laughhile ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (10376)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, BOYFRIEND AND I WERE LOOKING AT ENGAGEMENT RINGS. WHEN THE STORE OWNER ASKD ABOUT OUR BUDGET, BOYFRIEND SAID WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, "NOTHING TOO EXPENSIVE, I HAVE A BIG PENIS SO I DON'T HAVE TO OVERCOMPENSATE BY BUYING A BIG DIAMOND." MEGA FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, After Heavy Rain Mah Street Flooded. While In Mah Living Room, I Looked Outside To See That Mah Elderly Neighbour Was Outside Splashing In A Knee Deep Puddle. He Was Butt-naked And Wearing A Snorkel And Flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (3206)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Taday my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven... a dryer... a dishwasher... a looool toilet... an a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm ( a liar and a cheating bastard . ) I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me . FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (7975)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

my mom bitchd me out and threatend to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently ( immoral behavior. ) This is the same woman who cheatd on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil temptd her. FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, drassad in mah saxiast nightia, I askad mah boyfriand in tha most sansual voica possibla what ha'd lyk ma do to for him tonight!! His ayad widanad, ha startad clapping wildly and than shriakad, ( SPAGHETTI CARBONARA! ) FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (4313) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today... I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turnd on by the smell of bananas. Guesshose new co-worker peels a nice... fragrant banana five times a day. mega FML

#20139261
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29193) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking wit my boyfriend wen a guy walkd up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend puncd im in te face and told im tat Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving im 4 te complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walkad around town by mysalf 4 four hours cuz I was too ashamad to tall my parants that I hava no friands willing to spand tima with ma. FML

#19927213
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26212) - you deserved it (4077)

On 07/12/2012 at 6:31am - misc - by etmerda (woman) - United States

Yastarday, I want to mah grlfriand's housa an caught har digging 4 gold. Sha wasn't picking har nosa - sha was litarally trying to dig 4 gold in har backyard. FML

#19926554
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (2610)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: