About AugustBurnsToast : Why hello there :o I love playing, writing, and producing music. As you can see, guitar is my main instrument. I enjoy many genres of music but I'm most passionate about hardcore. x)
My instagram is scottchessin if you feel like following or just wanna check me out ;p
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21880) - you deserved it (3230) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33591) - you deserved it (7839)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28833) - you deserved it (6264)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (4253)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (5378)
On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22328) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26045) - you deserved it (2772)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (10129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32146) - you deserved it (6013)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (1505)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18012) - you deserved it (3072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (2130)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (1834)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (2987)
On 07/12/2012 at 6:31am - misc - by etmerda (woman) - United States
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16897) - you deserved it (1891)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
