Ashaytes

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Ashaytes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 30020
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ashaytes : Ummm. I'm pansexual and openminded?
I like laughter.
And I like sappy songs, along with indie bands.
I want to be a forensic pathologist. 'Cause I like gore and shit.

And Matt Smith in drag makes my heart go boom, boom, pow.

Ashaytes's page activity

Visits<b>patwmm</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 6:24am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>PSQ91</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 5:35am<b>dirtyblond</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 6:58pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 2:00pm<b>Pooch321</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 1:30pm

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Ashaytes's favorite FMLs

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

by Barney / 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2011 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

by princev / 06/18/2011 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML

by stepmom / 06/18/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

by Inconnu / 06/18/2011 at 1:13am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML

by sucks4me / 06/18/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

by 8sq / 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML

by sherryberry2013 / 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm / United States / Love

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

by crazydog / 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love