About Ashaytes : Ummm. I'm pansexual and openminded?
I like laughter.
And I like sappy songs, along with indie bands.
I want to be a forensic pathologist. 'Cause I like gore and shit.
And Matt Smith in drag makes my heart go boom, boom, pow.
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Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (6422)
On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (4230)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68523) - you deserved it (4952)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7534) - you deserved it (75700)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (3377)
On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34060) - you deserved it (3372)
On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that’s what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (2502) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (10360)
On 06/18/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by sucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (11471)
On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22705) - you deserved it (5590)
On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to join us. We've been together for two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (5090)
On 06/10/2011 at 7:42pm - love - by sherryberry2013 - United States
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (2613) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (26704)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (2890)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm - animals - by crazydog (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17626) - you deserved it (35905)
On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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