About Ashaytes
Ummm. I'm pansexual and openminded? I like laughter. And I like sappy songs, along with indie bands. I want to be a forensic pathologist. 'Cause I like gore and shit. And Matt Smith in drag makes my heart go boom, boom, pow.
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Ashaytes's favorite FMLs

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex boyfriend who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML

By StratMan - / Saturday 28 May 2011 16:44 / United States

Today, it's memorial day weekend. The cops are all over the place watching for speeders and drunks. Some complete dickhead decided to spray paint "cop killa" on the side of my car. It won't come off. FML

By mperh / Saturday 28 May 2011 12:46 / United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

By CAchickadee / Sunday 29 May 2011 04:27 / United States

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

By tb351 / Saturday 28 May 2011 23:37 / United States

Today, after having not used my laptop since January because I thought it was broken, I found out that the key lock has been on the whole time. FML

By shouldhavecheckedthelock - / Sunday 29 May 2011 01:56 / United States