Ashaytes

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Ashaytes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 32050
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ashaytes : Ummm. I'm pansexual and openminded?
I like laughter.
And I like sappy songs, along with indie bands.
I want to be a forensic pathologist. 'Cause I like gore and shit.

And Matt Smith in drag makes my heart go boom, boom, pow.

Ashaytes's page activity

Visits<b>patwmm</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 6:24am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:45pm<b>PSQ91</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 5:35am<b>dirtyblond</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 6:58pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 2:00pm<b>Pooch321</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 1:30pm

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Ashaytes's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

by mymomsstupid / 06/29/2011 at 10:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

by frustrated / 06/29/2011 at 8:59am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Work

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

by Drunken Sailor / 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

by ashhatches / 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

by mavstrr1764847 / 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

by Eringobrag88 / 06/27/2011 at 12:08pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

by hopeless / 06/27/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

by Nice 2 inch / 06/27/2011 at 8:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

by SheenaL / 06/27/2011 at 2:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

by Tori Pearson / 06/27/2011 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Holidays

Today, my 15 year old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML

by WalkingTalkingCarrot / 06/26/2011 at 10:15pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

by minnEmouse / 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm / United States / Love