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Ashaytes

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Ashaytes
  • Town/Country : The space, between yo' legs.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 December 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 9802
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ashaytes : Ummm. I'm pansexual and openminded?
I like laughter.
And I like sappy songs, along with indie bands.
I want to be a forensic pathologist. 'Cause I like gore and shit.

And Matt Smith in drag makes my heart go boom, boom, pow.

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Ashaytes's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8098) - you deserved it (58350)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

#16908101
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (2947)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by mymomsstupid - United States

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

#16907603
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (1729)

On 06/29/2011 at 8:59am - work - by frustrated (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (2297)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9259) - you deserved it (41858)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33528) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (4703)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

#16880691
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by Eringobrag88 - United States

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

#16879498
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6246) - you deserved it (35971)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:09am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

#16878722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (2864)

On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (3173)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

#16876528
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (9711)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:26am - kids - by SheenaL (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went camping. My tent is flooded, a raccoon ate all my food, I lost the anchor to my boat which as a result is now across the lake. Three more days. FML

#16874481
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23168) - you deserved it (4649)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by Tori Pearson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 15 year old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML

#16872149
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (3532)

On 06/26/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by WalkingTalkingCarrot (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States



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