Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arxikist

Search for a member

Arxikist

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Arxikist : In sum, I'm basically a Football WR, Hockey RW. Atheist, Patriotic city-boy from Canada. I mostly use the app so I probably won't your message if you send me one. To avoid getting thumbs down from me do not mention/ do the following:

- Talk about yourself randomly
- Talk about peoples PP
- Talk about religion
- Say "lol", "haha", etc.
- Be stupid in general
- Don't kiss anyone's ass (especially DocBastard's)
- Don't fake you know the OP
- Don't fake you are the OP

Arxikist's page activity

Visits<b>emsnice240</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:32pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:08pm<b>ms_fancypants</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:58pm<b>clm123455</b> - the 05/28/2012 at 1:38pm<b>etharay</b> - the 01/05/2012 at 7:02am

Arxikist's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Arxikist's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

#18972343
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (8632)

On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19179) - you deserved it (2337)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

#18961286
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23263) - you deserved it (9166)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

#18954545
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (1875)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10625) - you deserved it (42513)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML

#18951326
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (3577)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by oldsoulyoungbody (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

#18949716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19072) - you deserved it (5394)

On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

#18947150
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (1622)

On 01/29/2012 at 9:36pm - work - by LowerCrust (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

#18917504
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25069) - you deserved it (2565) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm - health - by Jen_ - France

Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML

#18917374
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (3751)

On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (3864) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

#18785032
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18002) - you deserved it (9725)

On 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML

#18719100
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (4703)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by neveragain89 (woman) - Australia

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

#18718517
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (2519)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:40pm - misc - by silvernights21 (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: