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Arrawyn's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Arrawyn's favorite FMLs
by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
by sincerely depressed. / 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work
by bellabreeze / 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm / United States (Maine) / Kids
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
by maybenot / 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Health
by Rose / 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm / United States / Love
by marquez_jasmine / 07/21/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
by cj1012 / 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm / United States / Work
by FuckYou / 07/02/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by runner2731 / 06/08/2012 at 4:09am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by DB / 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm… Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat… Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said…