About Aroha020 : * Love women
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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (1795)
On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11844) - you deserved it (1406)
On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36312) - you deserved it (2628)
On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my 25 year old brother ran into my room very excited at 8am. "Wake up! We got a new puppy!" he told me. I was so excited so I jumped out of my warm bed. When I asked him if he was serious he said "No, but we have to go to church, so get dressed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (6770)
On 12/25/2009 at 10:30am - misc - by MessyMal (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19628) - you deserved it (4360)
On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (3601)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6195) - you deserved it (19148)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14772) - you deserved it (23757)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (1940)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (2524)
On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (2777)
On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5965) - you deserved it (60175)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia that is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of 2 years called and proposed to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43917) - you deserved it (15894)
On 07/06/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by jadkins - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59109) - you deserved it (31006)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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