Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arcterion

Search for a member

Arcterion

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 December 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 50085
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Arcterion : 22, Male, metalhead, pothead, pervert, misanthropist.
Sick according to some, insane according to others.
Fascinated by the morbid, bizarre and disturbing.

Arcterion's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:51pm<b>gennyb</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:26pm<b>black_sher</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:50pm<b>josef_connolly</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:43pm<b>demamcgirl16</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:04pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:53am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:52am<b>greenfire</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:40am<b>Redmai</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:11pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:32am<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:25am<b>socialzombie</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 4:26am<b>Flash3009</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:53pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:20am<b>WasabiG</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 1:54pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 7:16pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Diesel96</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 4:43pm<b>unknownother</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:30am

Arcterion's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Arcterion's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83921) - you deserved it (10271)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML

#2175107
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12127) - you deserved it (43875)

On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

#2173533
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63085) - you deserved it (3422)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

#2161329
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33728) - you deserved it (7978)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (58194)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44528) - you deserved it (14205)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19650) - you deserved it (90481)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94288) - you deserved it (22518)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (146830)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
706 comments

I agree, your life sucks (741013) - you deserved it (56809)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
940 comments

I agree, your life sucks (372891) - you deserved it (42424)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211785) - you deserved it (33835)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
911 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62804) - you deserved it (653990)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: