About Arcterion : 22, Male, metalhead, pothead, pervert, misanthropist.
Sick according to some, insane according to others.
Fascinated by the morbid, bizarre and disturbing.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43249) - you deserved it (2675)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48848) - you deserved it (4675)
On 05/25/2009 at 4:33am - animals - by jackelking (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18089) - you deserved it (41781)
On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (109297)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (104533)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82177) - you deserved it (16636)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by noboyfriend (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (8602)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (16215)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (1068)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my brother and I were standing at the baggage claim, waiting for our luggage to come out. We were commenting on all the bags that appeared, and when two large hiking packs came out I exclaimed "What kind of cunts go backpacking in New York?" The old couple standing next to us, apparently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4849) - you deserved it (59417)
On 05/23/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by beavis - United States (New Jersey)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165914) - you deserved it (14451)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72553) - you deserved it (7926)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (32670)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53461) - you deserved it (2283)
On 05/22/2009 at 4:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (5891)
On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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