Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arcterion

Search for a member

Arcterion

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 December 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 52333
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Arcterion : 22, Male, metalhead, pothead, pervert, misanthropist.
Sick according to some, insane according to others.
Fascinated by the morbid, bizarre and disturbing.

Arcterion's page activity

Visits<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:15pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:21pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:20pm<b>kmb1416</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:58am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 5:51am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:05pm<b>munoz12</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:11pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 1:00pm<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 10:22am<b>thejpanderson</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:25am<b>konan__</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:44am<b>minxxx</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 3:03pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:05am<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 8:09pm<b>AlaskanPipeline</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:35pm<b>Deoximizer</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 7:57pm

Fucked!<b>madi113</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 9:04pm<b>itsjustemcee</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Diesel96</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 4:43pm<b>unknownother</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 4:30am

Arcterion's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Arcterion's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (47579)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (47579)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54346) - you deserved it (8777)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49178) - you deserved it (12247)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64254) - you deserved it (14463)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

#2355217
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52258) - you deserved it (3466)

On 05/27/2009 at 8:51pm - misc - by Jdub (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (72932)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62882) - you deserved it (7914)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (66781)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8797) - you deserved it (85391)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

#2321503
854 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40502) - you deserved it (277827)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76261) - you deserved it (19682)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68858) - you deserved it (7763)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57681) - you deserved it (18413)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

#2295349
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18069) - you deserved it (62198)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: