Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Arcterion

Search for a member

Arcterion
  • Town/Country : Uden, The Netherlands
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 December 1986 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 32459
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Arcterion : 22, Male, metalhead, pothead, pervert, misanthropist.
Sick according to some, insane according to others.
Fascinated by the morbid, bizarre and disturbing.

Arcterion's last visitors

RockinRoyaltyxDsharkiiiLiiaaBeethebestintheworlplaguerpeopleses1

Arcterion's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Arcterion's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

#2557919
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52620) - you deserved it (19747)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65916) - you deserved it (163237)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

#2526721
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58484) - you deserved it (4582)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:08am - kids - by fallsdownplenty45 (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

#2526710
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (3573)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (16589)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

#2524291
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7868) - you deserved it (43456)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:39am - animals - by xacked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

#2523037
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (4612)

On 06/02/2009 at 1:41am - love - by toobad (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (48787)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49312) - you deserved it (24630)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was driving home, talking to my dad on the phone about losing my job. A man kept honking at me, I remarked to my dad how some people on the road are just assholes for no reason. I later realized I had left my laptop on my roof, and it flew onto the freeway. The man was signaling me. FML

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49264)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53378) - you deserved it (2614)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100478) - you deserved it (4574)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15616) - you deserved it (36530)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: