About ApologyKick : I enjoy life and the outdoors. Nature doesn't care about you. We're all fancy arrangements of carbon based molecules, just like what you ate for breakfast. No wonder there are so many FML's. I'm a drug dealer but it doesn't pay as well as you'd think. Favorite bands include Foo Fighters, Nirvana, RHCP, and Pearl Jam. I enjoy meeting new people so feel free to message me on here or on my kik: .Dillon
ApologyKick's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
ApologyKick's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by teegtwo / 07/22/2014 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
by mydatinglifesucks / 06/15/2014 at 2:31am / United States / Love
by It'd be nice to see you too. / 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML
by -__- / 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2013 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML
by maxkeyftw / 10/17/2013 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Health
by . / 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States / Money
by erockinthesuburb / 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 2:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Robert / 09/12/2013 at 9:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous