Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ApologyKick

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

ApologyKick

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1162
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ApologyKick : I enjoy life and the outdoors. Favorite bands include Foo Fighters, Nirvana, RHCP, and Pearl Jam. Just your average American teenager. Meeting new people is great, so feel free to message me.

ApologyKick's page activity

Visits<b>natalea_rae</b> - yesterday at 1:29am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:01pm<b>JK0909</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Aleys</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:05pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:52pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:20am<b>chelsealou1997</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:14pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 1:21am<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 11:21pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:43pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:23pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:42pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:36pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:21am<b>umerin</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:26am<b>amberr21</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:29am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:24am

ApologyKick's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ApologyKick's badges

ApologyKick's favorite FMLs

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46046) - you deserved it (4416)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43767) - you deserved it (2374)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50755) - you deserved it (3468)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50250) - you deserved it (6718)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43129) - you deserved it (18638) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47295) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (4360)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (9102)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32451) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49788) - you deserved it (3014)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38110) - you deserved it (4239)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10909) - you deserved it (35347)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (13928)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26110) - you deserved it (43145)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45696) - you deserved it (9526)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: