This member hasn't filled in the description.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (4927)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (3227)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43924) - you deserved it (5666)
On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (16750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you deserved it (3011)
On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore
Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (7980)
On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)
Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (3578)
On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44166) - you deserved it (2112)
On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (2288)
On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8519) - you deserved it (24186)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (11325)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (29930)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (6326)
On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33318) - you deserved it (2942)
On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
