About ApologyKick : I enjoy life and the outdoors. Nature is the most powerful force I know, and yet with all that power it remains entirely unbiased. If only our politicians worked the same way... We're all fancy arrangements of carbon based molecules, just like what you ate for breakfast. No wonder there are so many FML's! I'm a drug dealer but it doesn't pay as well as you'd think. Favorite bands include Foo Fighters, Nirvana, RHCP, and Pearl Jam. I enjoy meeting new people so feel free to message me on here or on my kik: .Dillon
ApologyKick's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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ApologyKick's favorite FMLs
Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Hey, thats not math!? / 08/09/2016 at 4:20pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by aurora320 / 07/19/2016 at 3:50pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Love
by katiebug / 07/11/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek
by El Jeffe / 07/05/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Transportation
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
by hlewrn / 06/21/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML
by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
by windsoffate / 06/09/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML
by LongDriveNoSleep / 05/24/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML
by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals
by anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2016 at 11:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by rhymehoardhh / 03/04/2016 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Money
by Coccinelle / 02/05/2016 at 11:36am / France / Work