Apollo_Kilgannon

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Apollo_Kilgannon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1053
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Apollo_Kilgannon's page activity

Visits<b>wil1029</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 6:32pm<b>marcusterry</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:33am<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:20pm<b>Targaeryen</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 3:25pm<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:00pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:54am<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:00pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:16pm<b>lexxiii</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:31am<b>TallestThoughts</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 2:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:43pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 3:24pm<b></b> - the 03/09/2011 at 11:05pm<b>Roadkill007</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 10:41pm<b>Banwan</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 10:43am<b>bhimz1</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 8:54am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 10:49pm

Apollo_Kilgannon's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Apollo_Kilgannon's badges

Apollo_Kilgannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

by tht1chk / 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

by anonymous / 08/15/2010 at 9:12am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

by earths_venus / 07/24/2010 at 3:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

by xricardo / 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

by sleeper / 03/02/2010 at 12:05am / Transportation

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

by playinmyguitar / 08/15/2009 at 11:02am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

by thanksjerk / 08/11/2009 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

by Rae / 07/30/2009 at 9:56am / United States / Kids

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

by isthisajoke / 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous