Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Apollo_Kilgannon

Search for a member

Apollo_Kilgannon

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 751
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Apollo_Kilgannon's page activity

Visits<b>datshistylizard1</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 4:00pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Yogibob</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:54am<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:00pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:16pm<b>lexxiii</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:31am<b>TallestThoughts</b> - the 02/17/2012 at 2:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:43pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 3:24pm<b>Roadkill007</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 10:41pm<b>Banwan</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 10:43am<b>bhimz1</b> - the 01/05/2011 at 8:54am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 10:49pm<b>betty66</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 9:00pm<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 01/04/2011 at 5:34pm<b>dee757</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 5:52am

Apollo_Kilgannon's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Apollo_Kilgannon's badges

Apollo_Kilgannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (27742)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (4786)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

#12080410
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25689) - you deserved it (3162)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:44am - misc - by earths_venus - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

#10974262
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (23323)

On 06/04/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by xricardo - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (5300)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10351) - you deserved it (47975)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87719) - you deserved it (14667)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43014) - you deserved it (6191)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking with my friend-turned boyfriend and cutely told him that I could no longer remember all the things that he used to do that bothered me. He told me he could remember every one of mine and listed them all off for me. FML

#4441693
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16823) - you deserved it (37004)

On 08/11/2009 at 1:01am - love - by thanksjerk (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7907) - you deserved it (78306)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39012) - you deserved it (3942)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (41610)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

#30754
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26088) - you deserved it (51137)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22447) - you deserved it (1905)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: