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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (23248)
On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (12153)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60020) - you deserved it (5177)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24965) - you deserved it (3236)
On 01/28/2011 at 10:43am - misc - by NotoriousSRJ (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (7569)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7575) - you deserved it (23867)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (6171)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (27438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7753) - you deserved it (20629)
On 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Torbay)
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19486) - you deserved it (7464)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37503) - you deserved it (2249)
On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (6157)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (7940)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18548) - you deserved it (3468)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53855) - you deserved it (7018)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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