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Apollo_Kilgannon's favorite FMLs
by jm_track / 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML
by NotoriousSRJ / 01/28/2011 at 10:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by duckthehack / 01/28/2011 at 9:25am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Kids
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love
Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Health
by skyhigh / 01/13/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm / Reserved / Love
by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
- Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I… Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend who is married with children. His wife… Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a…