Anubis_81

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Offline (the 04/29/2016 at 5:25pm)

Anubis_81

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 January 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1272
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Anubis_81 : Funny Aussie Dude living in Malta, likes to party, loves sports, movies, music, and chicks.

Anubis_81's page activity

Visits<b>shay72014</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:47pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 10:01pm<b>bbackensto</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 12:19am<b>brook823</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:15pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:53pm<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:28am<b>Kaylynn_Michele7</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 9:34pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:32pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Jewel_Faith</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:16pm<b>mimihuseen_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:19pm<b>missangelali</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>angelbyyourside</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:26pm<b>poor_gurll1198</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:01am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:11pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:41pm

Anubis_81's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Anubis_81's badges

Anubis_81's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

by jasmith / 11/18/2012 at 2:45am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:29am / United States / Health

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids