Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Anubis_81

Search for a member

Anubis_81

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 January 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Anubis_81 : Funny Aussie Dude, likes to party, loves sports, movies, music, and chicks.

Anubis_81's page activity

Visits<b>missangelali</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:13pm<b>angelbyyourside</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:26pm<b>poor_gurll1198</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:01am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:11pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:41pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 7:08pm<b>DaiCarmuhh</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:45pm<b>Ashafarah</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 2:08pm<b>chelsss3</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:49am<b>Ali56</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 1:06am<b>salazara</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 7:48pm<b>DxJosephxD</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 2:57pm<b>brandon02</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 11:22pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 9:43pm<b>daysinalleyways</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 5:54am<b>alexfaith7</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 11:27pm<b>plainoldLyss</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 9:58pm

Anubis_81's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Anubis_81's badges

Anubis_81's favorite FMLs

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56201) - you deserved it (9174)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (4319)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55438) - you deserved it (9858)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

#20416717
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36111) - you deserved it (5628)

On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11236) - you deserved it (27274)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
166 comments

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

#19231418
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11628) - you deserved it (40180)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38311) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (43694)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I started to fall in love with my wife again. We are in the middle of a divorce. FML

#17457372
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37513) - you deserved it (16347)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:25am - love - by badass - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17762) - you deserved it (32114)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

#17438082
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (4950)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: