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Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (3852)
On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (22467)
On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (3062)
On 09/08/2010 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (8481)
On 08/26/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (19687)
On 08/23/2010 at 12:03am - kids - by laughxlove - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11264) - you deserved it (41418)
On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14744) - you deserved it (18249)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11808) - you deserved it (31084)
On 05/22/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7856) - you deserved it (26233)
On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11290) - you deserved it (14374)
On 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by bad boyfriend - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19505) - you deserved it (2245)
On 02/19/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by GeneralElement (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (24531)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (7656)
On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12057) - you deserved it (1681)
On 01/18/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by heterolifepartner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (1923)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:45pm - misc - by SingleWorker (man) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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