About AnagenisisZagus : Oh, dear god. No, thank you.
AnagenisisZagus's FML badges
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
AnagenisisZagus's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at a power lifting meet when a girl I really liked walked in. Trying to impress her, I increased my bench to 350, when I have only done 300 before. She then watched me drop it on my chest, breaking my breast bone, and also crying in the process. FML
by wowimdumb / 01/29/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by knickersdontfit / 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/26/2011 at 8:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML
by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone but me. Then, one of them said: "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 10:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by dumbteacher / 11/22/2010 at 9:47am / Miscellaneous
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 1:26am / United States (Kansas) / Transportation
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
by Samantha / 10/30/2010 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…