About AnagenisisZagus : Oh, dear god. No, thank you.
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AnagenisisZagus's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Vincent / 01/02/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML
by Okay_Then / 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML
by Whoopsie / 02/22/2012 at 10:53am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
by eakthegeek / 01/10/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:41am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
by piercingfreak / 08/28/2011 at 6:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away.… Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought…