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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56899) - you deserved it (2469)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58444) - you deserved it (2626)
On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50696) - you deserved it (9078)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93903) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you deserved it (56320)
On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64545) - you deserved it (4526)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9705) - you deserved it (57361)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6328) - you deserved it (43074)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6328) - you deserved it (43074)
On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (14141)
On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62568) - you deserved it (9512)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50379) - you deserved it (7746)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46234) - you deserved it (6118)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53691) - you deserved it (4026)
On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (7010)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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