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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Ana_Aryani

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Ana_Aryani
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10953
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (52711) - you deserved it (1911)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (54952) - you deserved it (2431)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48201) - you deserved it (8639)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74619) - you deserved it (4458)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (14361) - you deserved it (46834)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (61167) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53071)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (5589) - you deserved it (34838)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (39417) - you deserved it (11108)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (58036) - you deserved it (7832)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (47236) - you deserved it (7291)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (44833) - you deserved it (5881)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (3217)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (41338) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (67499) - you deserved it (1586)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)