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50 favourites
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Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (3533)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by ElhonnaDS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39629) - you deserved it (5508)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31169) - you deserved it (6459)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60936) - you deserved it (5653)
On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (3957)
On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)
Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35457) - you deserved it (2046)
On 04/16/2013 at 4:48am - love - by Grand_Cookie - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35178) - you deserved it (2569)
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55011) - you deserved it (3081)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40389) - you deserved it (3822)
On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (3685)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (4312)
On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)
Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27093) - you deserved it (3073)
On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (5247)
On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (2388)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Monday 20 May 2013
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