AlwayzCelly

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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 3:43am)

AlwayzCelly

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1000
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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AlwayzCelly's page activity

Visits<b>liabluem</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:03am<b>Mahenoor</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 8:49pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:56pm<b>Zombieex3</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:14am<b>KrazieKleo</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:44pm<b>FB1234567890</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:42pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:22pm<b>jryan1228</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:45pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 3:23pm<b>demongirl123</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 10:06pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 9:57pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 12:15pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:45am<b>Fuji76</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:30am<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:29am<b>jjramirezjj1</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 10:25pm<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 11:20pm<b>sarahgrocks1</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 10:20am

Fucked!<b>liabluem</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:04am

AlwayzCelly's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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AlwayzCelly's favorite FMLs

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

by thank u usa / 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

by hannahisacooler / 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Love