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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 3:43am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 574
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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AlwayzCelly's page activity

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AlwayzCelly's favorite FMLs

Today, I cummed across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him . I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out . He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" an informed me that my country is a shithole . FML


I agree, your life sucks (39883) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Taday I told the guy I liked about crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47627) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (23608)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me 4 a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (12687)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today , as I was about to leave fir work , mah 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear an pink cowboy boots . He threw his hands in the air , yelled , ( BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE , ) promptly threw up an passed out in it .


I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (4003)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man cummd up to use the one next to me. As he approachd, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretendd to look at mah knob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (2642)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

today I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my grlfriend hen she started pinching me fir wearing green . To my complete shock hen she pinched my nipple I got the biggest most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life and no matter wat I did it wouldn't go away . We were in public . FML


I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you deserved it (8853)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on sofa, with an electric dog collar around neck an handcuffs on wrists!! The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (34936)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I Went To See ( Black Swan ) Wit Ma Parents, Not Realizing Tat It Was Basically A Porno. So I Sat Next To Ma Dadile Mila Kunis An Natalie Portman Ad Passionate Lesbian Sex On A Twenty Foot Screen. And I'm Pretty Sure I Eard Te Old Guy Beind Us Jacking Off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (6659)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to mah rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML


I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (46151)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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