Alpaca_BAMF

Search for a member

Alpaca_BAMF

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7312
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Alpaca_BAMF's page activity

Visits<b>lfgiraffe</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:39pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:43pm<b>jane00</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:31pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 6:53pm<b>ohdannyboyy</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:35pm<b>flames57323</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 10:58pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 4:10am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 6:23am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:45am<b>ArtinHopar</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 12:02pm<b>downzi104</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:28am<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 7:39pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 2:54pm<b>RZW</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:53pm<b>sparkin</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 2:53pm<b>elmassapilo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:49pm<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 8:03am

Alpaca_BAMF's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Alpaca_BAMF's badges

Alpaca_BAMF's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

by dry spell / 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was once again handed a document to translate along with the comment "Good luck, it doesn't make sense to begin with." If my translation doesn't, though, I will not get paid. FML

by Demotivation / 07/02/2013 at 10:35am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

by lonely girl / 07/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

by AwkwardPotato / 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:49pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.