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Alicestraza

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

Alicestraza

135Fucked!

AlicestrazaAlicestraza
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5302
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Alicestraza : 💖💜💙

Alicestraza's page activity

Visits<b>NotNeeded</b> - 4 hours ago<b>mo3zz</b> - 5 hours ago<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - yesterday at 5:52am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:50am<b>flufee2</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:28pm<b>missycanfly</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 4:19pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:16am<b>ThatGuy622</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:55pm<b>kaylabunny1999</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:44am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:25am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:17am<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:43am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:37pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:21pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:43pm<b>RichieRichhh</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:34am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:15pm<b>koganti</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:41am

Fucked!<b>missycanfly</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:19pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:15am<b>koganti</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:42pm<b>kreesan</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>zoulou48</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:41am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:36am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>cccook1547</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:34am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:47pm<b>hun3y206</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:05am<b>hallieee</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:30am<b>terspal</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:46pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:09am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:34pm<b>Megatron_Griffin</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:35pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:07pm<b>AK7186</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:24pm

Alicestraza's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Alicestraza's badges

Alicestraza's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I said I wouldn't find her attractive in 20 years. What I actually said was that I wouldn't sleep with her mother now, who happens to be 20 years older than her. FML

#21460448
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22556) - you deserved it (2713)

On 08/25/2015 at 7:55am - love - by Shelling Ford - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (2049)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML

#21450259
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (2625)

On 08/01/2015 at 12:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (3327)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML

Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (6700)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50666) - you deserved it (11347)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager tells me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

#21269405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:56am - work - by rejected - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (18307)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML



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