AliSama

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AliSama

16Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1976 (40 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 96266
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AliSama : I am. I am a student of law. I am a paralegal and a comic book colorist by trade. I love and support all. be the change you want to see in the world and trust people to follow.

AliSama's page activity

Visits<b>IanTheKorean</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 2:34pm<b>raven83</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:16pm<b>zaynabsabeh</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:15am<b>OlRed</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 9:34pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 9:42pm<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:32pm<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:03pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:57pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:05am<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:05pm<b>Redpoison</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:37am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:43am<b>Redmond64</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:32am<b>Emblazin</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:07am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:04pm<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:07pm

Fucked!<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 11:56pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:05am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:14pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:33am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 5:42am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:03am<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:59am<b>supereagle</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:03am<b>UltraAlphaFusion</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:02pm<b>naTOtheBILL</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:53pm<b>crayzee4rph</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:38am<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:14am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:52pm

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AliSama's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML

by Jim / 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

by superfkd / 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML

by bluedevil26 / 03/03/2009 at 11:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML

by neelloc83 / 03/02/2009 at 9:22am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML

by Judiee / 02/28/2009 at 5:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

by Ma.Sa.La. / 02/27/2009 at 10:18am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML

by hey-o / 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous