About AliSama : I am very insane^_-
I plan to rule the world and end world hunger, ensure everyone has the right to live their lives the way they want to.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78) - you deserved it (16371)
On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60968) - you deserved it (4804)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
I agree, your life sucks (80488) - you deserved it (3597)
On 03/28/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by Lolrus - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)
Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (60399)
On 03/27/2009 at 9:10pm - love - by Jim (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84125) - you deserved it (7905)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53968) - you deserved it (5233)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18969) - you deserved it (49983)
On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (160058) - you deserved it (10866)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (52942)
On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61183) - you deserved it (12807)
On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57671) - you deserved it (4095)
On 03/13/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56817) - you deserved it (2856)
On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)
Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (9540)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by bluedevil26 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6635) - you deserved it (52259)
On 03/02/2009 at 9:22am - misc - by neelloc83 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you deserved it (4195)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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