About AliSama : I am very insane^_-
I plan to rule the world and end world hunger, ensure everyone has the right to live their lives the way they want to.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (3875)
On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2701)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19855) - you deserved it (8608)
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32269) - you deserved it (2656)
On 08/04/2011 at 4:30am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34279) - you deserved it (4136)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (2128)
On 08/03/2011 at 2:01am - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (4258)
On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States
Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (1774)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by jared77 - United States (Texas)
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (6544)
On 08/02/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (2152)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36283) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (7018)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (2178)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (11435)
On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
