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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1976 (39 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 93255
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AliSama : I am. I am a student of law. I am a paralegal and a comic book colorist by trade. I love and support all. be the change you want to see in the world and trust people to follow.

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AliSama's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34549) - you deserved it (8100)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (62240)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML


I agree, your life sucks (64000) - you deserved it (9014)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16260) - you deserved it (43112)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:20am - kids - by Sodge (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33146) - you deserved it (45635)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (66470) - you deserved it (6196)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7727) - you deserved it (81137)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (56401) - you deserved it (2841)

On 05/07/2009 at 12:53am - work - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49482) - you deserved it (3694)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (66754)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at Wendy's my boss approached me and told me the District Manager wanted to talk to me. I had been given a substantial raise the day before so I thought he was going to promote me to manager. Wrong, he told me I was being fired for eating a 99 cent cheeseburger. FML

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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