AliSama

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AliSama

16Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1976 (40 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 94806
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AliSama : I am. I am a student of law. I am a paralegal and a comic book colorist by trade. I love and support all. be the change you want to see in the world and trust people to follow.

AliSama's page activity

Visits<b>blaze17</b> - 19 hours ago<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:32pm<b>raven83</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:29am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 10:03pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:57pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:05am<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 8:05pm<b>Redpoison</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 7:37am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:43am<b>Redmond64</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:32am<b>Emblazin</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:07am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:04pm<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:07pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:16pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:30pm<b>bobbylops17</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:33pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 10:16am

Fucked!<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 11:56pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:05am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:14pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:33am<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 5:42am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:03am<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 10:58pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:59am<b>supereagle</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:03am<b>UltraAlphaFusion</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:02pm<b>naTOtheBILL</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:53pm<b>crayzee4rph</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:38am<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:14am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:52pm

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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AliSama's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

by StellarSapience / 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

by nana / 05/19/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

by Sodge / 05/15/2009 at 6:20am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

by Ottawa / 05/12/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

by Sarah / 05/07/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

by kekumbas / 05/05/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 12:12am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

by Telemistake / 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Wendy's my boss approached me and told me the District Manager wanted to talk to me. I had been given a substantial raise the day before so I thought he was going to promote me to manager. Wrong, he told me I was being fired for eating a 99 cent cheeseburger. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 12:38am / United States (South Dakota) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.