Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AliSama

Search for a member

AliSama
  • Town/Country : Lake forest, Usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1976 (38 years)
  • Number of visits : 81382
  • Number of comments : 336
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AliSama : I am. I am a student of law. I am a paralegal and a comic book colorist by trade. I love and support all. be the change you want to see in the world and trust people to follow.

AliSama's last visitors

Earrings100oO_Charmaine_Oomaemismile10nachoman10MidFlightBeware00omgbrainZ

AliSama's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of AliSama's badges

AliSama's favorite FMLs

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24386) - you deserved it (16786)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (8610)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML

#17988590
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30277) - you deserved it (2544)

On 10/15/2011 at 10:02am - health - by KilteDKilleR - United States (Utah)

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (7303)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (2863)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (1941)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (2667)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

#17980365
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

#17977138
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (3875)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

#17967494
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:55pm - misc - by Lauren - United Kingdom

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10819) - you deserved it (39850)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML

#17965139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4939) - you deserved it (41386)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Beaky (woman) - Canada



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: