About AliSama : I am very insane^_-
I plan to rule the world and end world hunger, ensure everyone has the right to live their lives the way they want to.
Mobility
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (2134)
On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom
Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (4704)
Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17969) - you deserved it (3901)
On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States
Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18965) - you deserved it (7032)
On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (2494)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States
Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (2001)
On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was yelled at by a customer because we didn't have any ketchup packets. I work in a coffee shop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (1490)
On 10/28/2011 at 1:07pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (2965)
On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States
Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (5145)
On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (11991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16872) - you deserved it (29244)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21489)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20116) - you deserved it (3084)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm - health - by DMStarsky - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (3091)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (4476)
On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)
Monday 20 May 2013
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