About AliSama : I am very insane^_-
I plan to rule the world and end world hunger, ensure everyone has the right to live their lives the way they want to.
Mobility
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20206) - you deserved it (3165)
On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13384) - you deserved it (16107)
On 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm - kids - by imamomma - United States
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (4487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (4962)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (10741)
On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15540) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (3146)
On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20805) - you deserved it (6603)
On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17123) - you deserved it (1494)
On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (4835)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11456) - you deserved it (14259)
On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7094) - you deserved it (22911)
On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (2826)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (1699)
On 11/07/2011 at 7:13am - misc - by maf811 - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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