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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Albedo667

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Albedo667
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 February 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 4094
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Albedo667's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (897)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (751)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (844)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML

#18572612 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (7471) - you deserved it (3527)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:36pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML

#18382855 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (8374) - you deserved it (1958)

On 11/29/2011 at 3:00am - love - by LadyDean - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (3328) - you deserved it (15944)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (36230) - you deserved it (3891)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (11423) - you deserved it (1734)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

#18333662 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (1072)

On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (26926) - you deserved it (3396)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (17813) - you deserved it (4828)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (8029) - you deserved it (4265)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (1860)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (3896) - you deserved it (8192)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

#18202130 (452)

I agree, your life sucks (36326) - you deserved it (4626)

On 11/09/2011 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada