Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ainarr

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ainarr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1070
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Ainarr : OMG, people actually visit my profile. ;~;

Ainarr's page activity

Visits<b>YoursAlways98</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:36am<b>ADBurns</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:41am<b>kangx1</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 6:56am<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:05am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:55am<b>ashtic</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:38am<b>gregorysmith</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 8:13pm<b>423</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:33pm<b>JetSnipe42</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:43am<b>Big_Poppa12</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm<b>melons</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:14pm<b>bmon</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:47pm<b>CFB_FRS</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:44pm<b>BadApple88</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Dcaxcs</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:11pm<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 4:27pm<b>PHP</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>RandomNameHere44</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:38pm

Ainarr's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ainarr's badges

Ainarr's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (1402)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

#20024282
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (6004)

On 08/16/2012 at 10:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

#20000538
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17126) - you deserved it (9622)

On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (2090)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (4462)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7520) - you deserved it (24109)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (3972) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

#18864677
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (37303)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15057) - you deserved it (40048)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (11626)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17335) - you deserved it (31353)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: