Toodle bip.
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you totally deserved it (5171)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you totally deserved it (1242)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10648) - you totally deserved it (27480)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you totally deserved it (3714)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6961) - you totally deserved it (21630) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36792) - you totally deserved it (8439)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84158) - you totally deserved it (2542)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you totally deserved it (34534)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore
Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you totally deserved it (16240)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by jadakorn (man) - United States (New York)
Today, through AIM, I told my ex boyfriend that I still have really deep feelings for him. The message I sent him was really long and took me almost an hour to write. His response? "Dun dun dunnn, the plot thickens!" Then he signed off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33669) - you totally deserved it (16702)
On 07/07/2009 at 12:04am - love - by Ferthington (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you totally deserved it (39144)
On 06/22/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by tamp (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you totally deserved it (2011)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33558) - you totally deserved it (8009)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you totally deserved it (34050)
On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you totally deserved it (2655)
On 06/07/2009 at 12:49am - money - by AllyCat (man) - United States (Virginia)
