About Aetgnup : I need more sleep.
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Aetgnup's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
by yeah_im_mad_bro / 09/23/2011 at 8:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm / Germany (Berlin) / Love
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 1:46pm / United States / Love
Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML
by sick of life / 09/23/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML
by freezingggg / 09/23/2011 at 10:33am / Reserved / Health
Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML
by hatty / 09/23/2011 at 9:48am / United Kingdom (East Lothian) / Transportation
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
by drastech99 / 09/23/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Love
by kdmoney / 09/23/2011 at 2:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML
by Soopa-Genius / 09/22/2011 at 8:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling unusually self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on makeup for the day. On my way to class, I passed some guys selling towels. One of them jeered, "Wanna be prettier? Buy a towel, and throw it over your face!" There goes my self-confidence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 11:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often… Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know… Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when…