About AdrianneLily : Hey (: You should probably get to know me before you judge me! But hey, it's cool if you like being a Dick ^-^ Aha, well, if you're still interested in me, then message me(;
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Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (6375)
On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (4098)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15573) - you deserved it (1487)
On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11959) - you deserved it (6923)
On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (2231)
On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20377) - you deserved it (1665)
On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (2910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (6963)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (9448)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (3038)
On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (1361)
On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15143) - you deserved it (1980)
On 07/15/2012 at 3:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29037) - you deserved it (3192)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10469) - you deserved it (19226)
On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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